im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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