i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
