He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
