She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Randomize
