On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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