Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
