Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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