Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
