The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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