I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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