STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Randomize
