Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
