do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
