it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize
