His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
