so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
