Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
