she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
