Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
