sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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