is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
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