i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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