You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
