Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
