I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
