i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Randomize