why didn't you poke me back
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize
