Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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