That's intense
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
