We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
