Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
