Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
