i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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