Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
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