i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
