my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
