i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Are my feet made of real feet?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
