Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
