And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
