Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
