His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
