we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
