she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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