God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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