Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
