So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
