In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
