That's when you crack a 10am beer
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
