That's when you crack a 10am beer
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
