Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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