She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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