She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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