turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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