Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
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