Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
