whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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