and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
