i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
