Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
