Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
