Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
