just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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