All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
you had me at cake vodka
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
